The Art and Science of Self-Reg & Spilt Milk

There is an age-old expression telling us that we shouldn’t cry over spilt milk. This euphemism encourages us to recognize that we cannot change or undo the past. What is done is done, and we should simply get on with it – whatever “it” is.

This is more of a personal reflection on my own Self-Reg® practise.

Undoubtedly… we have all, at one point or another, been frustrated by either something that has occurred, or something that has not occurred as we had hoped it would. Previous articles saw me exploring why we may have found certain instances frustrating in the first place, and reacted in the way we did. Typically, the answer lies in our Energy/Tension levels.

Being able to “Reframe” our reactions as stress responses rather than choices, is an important aspect of Shanker Self-Reg®, but it’s not the ONLY aspect. Recognizing those incidents for what they are is important, but then what?

As an example, I believe golf is a wonderful game, and a supremely challenging sport. It tests muscle-memory, requires flexibility & endurance, but most importantly, it necessitates the ability to focus solely on the next shot as opposed to the previous one. It can have you grinning with delight at a well-struck long iron into a sand trap-protected green one minute and being visibly angry at a chunked lob wedge from 60 yards out to an easily accessible pin on the front of the next green. I know! I’ve been both of those golfers.

However, what both those shots have in common, is that they both happened in the past. There is NOTHING I can do to change their result. What I need to do is prepare for the NEXT shot. Now here is the tricky part. It’s not about the self-reflective analysis of what went wrong with the previous swing that is going to help me, rather it’s the focus on what I need to do in the present moment to make that next swing the best one I can that will help. Wallowing in what went wrong, and how then to correct it, is something for the practice range.

It’s like the song in the children’s movie “Frozen” says – Let it Go!

Life Lesson: Focus on the NEXT attempt as opposed to the previous one.