You may recall that last month, I openly questioned whether or not you had ever wondered about the response or reaction you received from a family member, friend, or colleague.  I’m betting you have.  That reply or feedback can provide you with the insight you need to better understand the stress level under which they found themselves at the time.

Once again, it’s time to talk about communication; both the science and the art of it.  The process itself as represented below, appears relatively straightforward.  A sender encodes their message, which the receiver then decodes, and responds/reacts providing feedback.  This feedback or response/reaction may be intentional, or it may occur beneath the level of consciousness. None-the-less, the communication loop is complete when the feedback is received and typically leads to further or ongoing communication.

We already know that occasionally, the feedback we receive in the form of responses and/or reactions can be surprising, or unexpected.  Consider for a moment the energy/tension levels of both the sender and the receiver.  At any given point in time, any one of us can find ourselves in one of four conditions pertaining to our energy and tension levels: High Energy/High Tension, High Energy/Low Tension, Low Energy/Low Tension, and Low Energy/High Tension.  As you can well imagine, one’s response/reaction might vary significantly given their energy/tension state.  I like to think of these states as the “noise” that can either amplify or drown out not only the message, but the encoding, and decoding process too.

Someone might react harshly to what you perceive is a simple request or statement on your part.  You yourself may have been in a heighted state of anxiety when expressing yourself, meaning that the encoding and message itself may be infused with a red-brain, or limbic system (from last month’s article) kind of resonance that triggers an irrational limbic response from the receiver. The receiver of your message might wonder why your message is so emotionally charged when you may not have intended that at all.

I titled the article “The Art & Science of Communication.” There is science behind these reactions.  Brain science tells us that our limbic system runs the show when we perceive a threat (real or imagined). However, it takes an artist to be able to navigate this science and use the understanding of this process, and of the recipient. Then we can hope to ensure that messages are encoded and decoded accordingly.  That will enhance more regulated communication.