The Art and Science of Post-pandemic Relationships

Reframing the way we think about… connecting with others?

Doesn’t it seem like we are hearing more and more about acts of violence in public spaces? With increased frequency, we see the evening newscasts that document random acts of aggression, as well as those that are pre-meditated targeted hate crimes.  Canada is not immune to discontentment, hatred & racism.

For more than two years, we have been locked down, only to partially open-up and then be re-locked down again.  Social distance protocols and mask-mandates introduced, questioned & lowered, and then again re-implemented. The yo-yoing has undoubtedly added significantly to the uncertainty about our social circumstances.

For the greater portion of these past few years, we have endured a cocooning of sorts.  Our extra-familial (external) personal face to face interactions have been reduced significantly, while our intra-familial (within the family) day to day exchanges have tested those relationships and even exacerbated some of the previously disguised/suppressed anger – with the occasionally catastrophic results and devastating consequences that make the news.

Without the statistical data to substantiate these claims, I think we can all agree that as things start to open again, whereas we should be celebrating. We are seeing/hearing more stories about mass-shootings, and despicable acts of atrocity. Some, caried out for the simple reason of not fitting into our newly minted sense of self-entitlement & correctness.  Now I am not suggesting that we have all become entitled and spoiled, but I am suggesting that the past two years of having us look out mainly for our self-interests, has conditioned us well to place a priority on the “self” over the “prosocial.”

The problem therein is that we are a social species and we are wired to connect.  However, we are, now more than ever, more prone to gravitate towards likeness & familiarity and eschew that which is different.  This has led to a greater polarization.  A great divide now exists between ideologies on a variety of topics – vaccines, masks, social distancing, seating capacities, trucker protests, school closures/reopening.  The vocal debates have subsided, but the deep-seeded feelings remain, and it is hurting our social re-integration.

I mourn the loss of social discourse, where political opponents and people with varied ideas or opinions are viewed as opponents not enemies to be exterminated.  I long for a return to debates of thesis – antithesis – synthesis.  Relationships are what matters most.  There’s an Art & Science to building good ones.